Guilty Pleasures…

“You tryin to smoosh right now?”

If you are scratching your head right now, then that means you do not share the guilty pleasure of being a Jersey Shore fan. Good for you, but fuck, are you missing out!

By definition, a guilty pleasure is something that you enjoy, but that your better judgment tells you, you shouldn’t. Therefore, you feel a twinge of guilt for finding joy in it.

I can’t help but love watching the Jersey Shore. In fact, I think a couple of the characters are actually quite endearing. Snooki is by far my favorite. Less brain cells than the pickle juice I just drank out of the container, but she has a heart of gold. That being said, it’s kind of sad watching these people who are so far removed from reality. GTL!!! That’s what’s important in life. And I’m helping boosting their ratings which reinforces their seemingly upside down values. Ugh, come on, I know that it’s brainless, indulgent, and downright mean sometimes, but if I want to spend an hour a week (less if you have DVR) watching fake tan drenched Pauly D and The Situation fist pump in a club, thennnnn SO BE IT. That doesn’t mean I’m a bad person, right?

I feel the same way about rap music. I love it, and it probably consumes 60 percent of my listening time because it’s the only genre that I like when I’m working out. Sometimes though, I take a step back and listen to the lyrics and judge the rap stars. Hmmm… I don’t relate with most…

But I do like Drake and Eminem, and don’t really feel guilty about that. Their music can be pretty motivating…

Oh, btw, I love that Ke$ha dishes some derogatory lyrics too.

… I’ll also occasionally flip through a celebrity magazine every now and then.

Being that I’m aware that these things are guilty pleasures, means that I also understand why lots of people choose to refrain from all of them. At the same time, I think it’s lame when those people judge and/or try and make people feel bad for finding a bit of entertainment or fleeting joy in meaningless tv or lackluster music with a good beat.

Life’s too short. Don’t waste time trying to make yourself look like a better person by putting down others.

Otherwise, I’ll ef you up.

Ahhh… Sorry, I think I’m funny.

Here’s the best clip I could find of it:

Anyway, I also asked some of you guys what your guilty pleasures are just so that I wouldn’t feel alone! Thanks guys! Here they are:

@RainmanUSC: Shanghai after a session at Bellagio and you always run into a couple poker players
@haigtweets: 90210. My wife, anything Real Housewives
@LFC0009: Ordering hot cocoa w/ whipped cream at the Blackjack tables.
@Syracuseball: reality TV! Gr8 cuz you C ppl acting stupid & either think “wow, i’m better than them” or “at least i’m not the only 1″ lol!
@LynnGilmartin: Reality TV!! I could watch The Hills and Jersey Shore alllllll day haha
@mike_heisz: kristy sleep is mine. seeing that i dont get as much as i ever want. it is just great to sleep in. what ya think?

You guys are awesome! If you have some more good ones, tell me about them in the comments!  That’s all I need, is to pick up more guilty pleasures.

Here’s my last one. Other people mentioned her, but she’s so good too!!

Don’t forget to “like” my shizzer on FB. It’s on the right of this page! Peace homies <3Kris …. or should I say SNOOKI?

Anxiety Issues!!!

Anxiety…

Breath…

Ugh.

Ef-

SPAZ!

Anxiety has been getting the better of me in the past month and a half.

About two years ago, anxiety started affecting me pretty badly. I’m not sure what triggered it, but I have a sneaky suspicion it had to do with the forums. As embarrassing as it is to admit, those little fuckers got to me. I started doubting myself, and pretty soon, everything made me nervous. It kept getting worse, and when your job is to interview poker players on camera, it’s not something you can really hide from.

It’s like this feeling in your stomach that debilitates you. At times, I would get so anxious I would start sweating and shaking. I wouldn’t be able to swallow or even think. Before interviewing certain players, I’d have to psych myself up and do a countdown like, “3, 2, 1 Ok GO!” and I’d walk straight up to the player before I had time to think and puss out.

At the 2008 NBC Heads UP Drawing Party, I did interviews on the red carpet which got me so worked up that I couldn’t even bring myself to go inside for the party. I wanted to go, but I was scared! I started walking in, turned around, turned back, then turned back around and walked straight to my car and started crying. I was crying because how ridiculous it was that I was crying too.

In social situations, I’d often get the same way. You’d think that having the ability to read people would lessen anxiety, but for me it increased it. I can tell when people are bored, or when they don’t really care about talking to you. I can tell if someone is genuine or not, and let’s be honest. Most people, at least in Vegas, are out for only themselves and don’t give a shit about you.

I guess I did a decent job hiding my bat shit craziness because as it continued to get worse, I started talking to a few people about it. Most of them said something like, “Hmm, I don’t see it. Just relax.”
LOOK YOU FREAK! I’D RELAX IF I FRICKIN COULD! DUhhhhhh.

Andrew did his best to listen and console me, and definitely helped, but the first person who I felt really understood what I was saying was Evelyn Ng. She said that I had to just fight the anxiety head on, realize that I have a lot to offer the world, and fake confidence until it became real. I started doing that, and it was so hard at first. I’d stand up straight, smile, and force myself “act” confident even though a lot of times I felt like sprinting to the nearest exit. Eventually it started getting easier.

A conversation with my stepdad Steve really pushed my anxiety into remission though. He talked about what reality is and how easy it is to be pushed away from it. He talked about a Krishnamurti, my dad’s favorite philosopher whose books he used to read to me as kid (fun story time for an eight-year-old). Krishnamurti often talked about the prisons we create in our mind that keeps us from actually being free. Anxiety is one of those prisons. The things that make me anxious aren’t things that really matter in reality.

Now, I don’t think that I even fully understand Krishnamurti’s writings, but it helped me get a grip. Also, I’m not saying that anxiety is always caused by some silly detachment from reality, but I think that’s case for me. I know that a lot of people struggle with it, so I hope people don’t think I’m trivializing the issue.

My anxiety was almost completely gone by the time I started working for PokerNews, but it has crept back in. This time though, most of it is just crazy obsessive worrying. I worry about everything. For example, even though I know flying is super safe, all of a sudden, I guess I’m afraid of it! On the way back from Tallinn Estonia, I was sitting next to Randall Flowers and I got so freakin nervous as we were landing that he had to do impressions of poker players so I wouldn’t tear my hair out! (ask him to do Isaac Haxton It’s pretty good). I was no joke putting my hands under my armpits like Mary Catheryn Galleger on SNL. I may or may have not smelled my fingers after we safely landed.

I guess I’m writing about this because I want to help suppress my anxiety again. It’s not nearly as bad as before, so I want to nip it in the butt now. I’m also writing this because in the past month and a half, I’ve had SOO many things that I’ve wanted to write about, but kept stopping myself because I was worried about what people would think about me.

Hmmm good solution — write about how mental you are instead!

Anyway, if I can write about this, I’ll be able to write anything after this. Haha, if you only knew the anxiety I’ve gone through while writing, deleting, and rewriting this.

So, how do you guys feel about being my shrink? Let’s be real, you guys are so much cheaper…

Thanks for listening. I’m going to write more often- for serious… well, if you care. You probably don’t though. Well maybe, but is it is super self indulgent to think anyone cares? I don’t think I’m indulgent, but isn’t anyone who has a blog indulgent? AHhhhhhhhh

STOP

Ok.

LOVE YOU GUYS.

Peace.

Fave PokerNews Videos from the WSOP

Yikes, six weeks, and no posts…

I have an excuse! I was super busy! The WSOP was long and hard (that’s what she said), but now that it’s over I’ve been decompressing at home in Kalamazoo, MI. All in all, the series was so much fun. Here are a few of my fave videos…

First, I have to show off some soccer skillz (always cooler with a Z)

Q: “Have you ever hit it and quit it?”
A: “Regularly” (yessss fist pump)

Tom Dwan made tons of poker players crap their pants twice…

This place is SOO good. If you are in Vegas, you have to go.

Why is Phil Ivey so sick? Umm cuz he is.

This was my favorite update that I did… You know, lots of times I think I’m funny when I’m not, but people seemed to like this one. So maybe, for once in my life, MY JOKES WORKED!

So when we were making this blooper reel, I found out from our camera guys that I am the one who messes up the most! Haha better work on that…

And of course… this one.

So that’s what I was doing all summer! Hmm what else? Oh on three of my four off days, I decided to play tournaments. I played a $350 Venetian Deepstack and busted 20 minutes into day 2 (brutal but cashed for a geezy and change), played my only and only WSOP event which was the ladies event in which I got brutally eliminated in the first 20 min (read last post), and I played a stupid tournament at Binions at which the entire final table guilted me into doing some sort of crazy chop (I know I have to stand up for myself, I get it).

I didn’t get to play much cash, which I was really sad about. I feel like I might be losing a grip on some of the things Balugawhale taught me because it’s been so long. I’m enjoying my time off, but I’m really looking forward to grindzo-ing when I get home… OH that’s another thing. I moved out of Sky condos to a house 15 min off the strip. It’s huge! I love the space! There is a room that the tripod (amo, tmo, and I) are going to set up a grind station in. And it’s actually owned by poker player. Guess how I found it? Yup, TWITTER. BOOM twitter haters.

But that will have to wait a few weeks. I’m going to Sweden for a few days before I go to Tallinn, Estonia for an EPT. Glo will be there with me and my little Lynnie Geezy will be in Vegas then Brazil for LAPT. See, we really are like the fuckin Angels right? (obv I’m the asian one)

SO much going on! So much I want to write about, but this will have to suffice for now.
<3Kris

Yep, Another Op-Ed on the Ladies Event

I know, I know. Everyone and their mom have written about their opinion on the Ladies Event. It’s been debated on blogs and even Twitter (how anyone would want to try and debate something in 140 characters or less is beyond me), but I just wanted to give my two cents in my own little space… but then I read Dr. Pauly’s post on his Tao of Poker website, and I was like OMG I TOTALLY AGREE!!

So read that first… http://taopoker.blogspot.com/2010/06/2010-wsop-day-15-dude-looks-like-lady.html

What he says about the debate on the ladies event stemming from more deep-rooted issues is true too, so all this debate may not make a difference, but oh well, here’s what I think.

Well,  I’ve always been sort of a neo-feminist… I played every sport growing up, dressed in windbreaker pants and a UofM tee-shirt to my sixth-grade Valentine’s Day dance (after which I was promptly dumped), and my favorite commercials growing up were part of the Mia Hamm/Michael Jordan “Anything you can do I can do better” series.

I’ve since grown up, and instead of thinking that women are better than men, I see us as equals (but I won’t be pissed at my Fiance for opening doors and buying me flowers). No more girls rule, boys drool.

As far as poker goes, it’s clear that women can compete on equal footing with men. Obviously, no sex has more of an edge. However, the way in which each sex has historically been welcomed to the game is vastly different. Because of societal norms and past rhetoric of poker being a man’s game, women have been shy and often feel discouraged to play. Not that it’s right, not that women aren’t strong enough to say “EF you I’m playing,” and not that it is still the same way today, but it’s true that SOME women feel more comfortable playing with other women. So like Pauly says, LET THEM DO IT THEN!

There are lots of arguments out there against having women’s only tournaments, and I find it fairly easy to find flaws in them.

Argument: The absence of a ladies event would legitimize women in poker

I actually think that the push for abolishing ladies events in order to legitimize women in poker is more sexist than the existence of ladies only events in itself. Why do we need to take away an option that women have? Ladies only events aren’t saying “We can’t play with men, we need this tournament.” It’s saying “I’d prefer to play with other women.”

Taking away this option won’t legitimize women in poker! Women are doing that by themselves! Jennifer Harman commands more respect than almost any man in poker and is an equal to her fellow Big Game peers. Liv Boeree just trampled over 1,000 people in San Remo. Annette Obrestad consistently runs over her competition and has even done so once without looking at her cards.

So to even say that women NEED legitimizing is sexist!! We don’t need legitimizing… we just need MORE OF US. Can it actually be argued that women’s only tournaments don’t bring in new players?

Argument: You’re enabling women to stay in their comfort zones

Well, you’ve said it yourself… There is a comfort aspect for some women to play ladies only events which therefore reinforces the need for tournaments like this in the first place! No one needs someone making decisions for them to say, “Hey, step up and play with the big boys. Get out of your comfort zone.”

Argument: Women would just play open events if there were no ladies event

I think many men are under the misunderstanding that women can always feel just as comfortable at table full of men as they can at a table full of women. Now, I play poker all time, and take it quite seriously. I play cash all the time and with mostly men. Women are such a rare occurrence at the table, so when we’re there, I think it’s safe to say, we get pretty consistent annoying remarks like:

“Whoaaa watch out, it’s a lady!” — wow, thanks for announcing that. Now everyone is looking at me. ME = uncomfortable

“I can’t play against women! I can’t read them.” (laughing while smirking to the other guys) — ugh really? Lots of men use this a slightly condescending defense mechanism when they lose a pot to a woman. Come on, you know what I’m talking about guys. ME = annoyed

“Come on honey, smile once.” — No, I don’t feel like smiling! Should I be smiling because I’m a girl? Are you going to tell the 200 pound dude next to you to smile? NO. ME = feeling less like smiling (ok, that one’s border line, but still!)

“I’m hitting on you” — obviously they don’t say that, they just do it. It’s happened to me, and it happens to other women at the table all the time. I’ve seen countless women made to feel uncomfortable by men throwing huge whiffs at the table which always = AWKWAAARD!!!

There’s also lots of talk about “hot chicks, bangin this, bangin that blahblah. SOOO BIG WHOOPDYDOOO if I’d like to play in a tournament with women and not deal with that STUFFFFF. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG. Of course it would be sexist to say that all men are like that. I’m not saying that at all. Almost all of my friends are males who play poker (haha that kind of sounds like the joke about the racist white guy who says, “I’m not racist, I have a black friend.) but seriously, stuff like I described happens A LOT.

Argument: Men feel discriminated against

Ummm just read the paragraphs before this. DO THOSE THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU??? Do other men look at your boobies because they are the only ones in the room? No. When that happens to you, then you can have your own men’s tournament.

Now, to the men who played in the event… It’s ok. I know this is kind of weird after everything I just said, but honestly, I’m not mad at them at all because I do understand a few of their reasons. Shaun Deeb is one of the sweetest, most down to earth poker players I’ve met. He lost a bet which forced him to play and he truly believes that women don’t “need” this event because they can, should, and could be successful in open events. He also said he’d donate all the money to charity. Those are all very sweet, noble, and great thoughts. Unfortunately though, his presence or any other male presence in the field isn’t going to make women who prefer playing with other women say, “Man, you’re right. I don’t need this, I’m going to play with a bunch of men like you guys who don’t respect my choice to play in a WOMEN’S ONLY event!”

Sarcasm aside, I really understand what Shaun was trying to say, but I think his actions aren’t going to get him the result he wants which is more women in poker.

I also even understand the men who played because of the equity. I used to be an equity monger too. Andrew and I used to crash a game at the Navy Club in Fort Wayne. It was meant to be a place where Veterans could play poker once a week with their friends, but they couldn’t deny us membership because of the Law, so their game was infiltrated by young, money hungry, aggressive kids. Looking back though, that’s not who I want to be. I don’t want to disrespect people. I don’t want my legacy to be that I’d check-raise my grandma for money. It’s just not right. Hmmm I’m not arguing this point very well, but it’s just how I feel.

Shweeuu…

OH, but the guy who used a tampon as a card protect!…  Yeah, he’s just an idiotic brain infected nose pickin butt lickin stink face!! (my favorite insult from elementary school)

Wow, I thought this was going to be short, but it didn’t turn out that way. I hope people aren’t going to hate me for this post, but my last blog post has a girl shoving her voluptuous booty into a man’s face (whoot girl/vagjayjay power) haha so I thought, hey, what have I got to lose?

OHHHHH I almost forgot to add that I PLAYED in the ladies event. First, let me be clear, I rarely play tournaments, but have a couple cashes on my Hendon Mob (in open events). I actually really don’t like playing tournaments, and would rather spend my off work time in cash games. But, I wanted to play at least one WSOP event this year and decided to play the women’s event because I think it’s FUN! SO SUE ME!! Haha I played 20 minutes though. I got all in on the turn with A-10 against K-10 on a Q-10-10-2 board. King on the river and I adios-ed.

To those of you who had a piece of me, thank you! Andrew, Scott, Donnie, Duane, Mandy, Marc and Spencer. Sorry I couldn’t do better for us.

Love you gosh-darn effers, PEACE- KRIS

Why Brazilian Women Win at Life

It’s a pretty common notion that Brazil churns out some of the most beautiful women in the world. They’re exotic, tan, have legs for days, and rock hard buns. Let’s take a look at a few samples:

Yeah… you get the picture — literally.

Brazilian women are just amazingly good looking. Just to make sure, I asked Google.

Yep, apparently the auto-complete agrees. Just for shits and giggles, I typed in the following…

ALRIGHT THEN! This is all stuff I already knew about Brazilian women, but then I came across this YouTube video and decided that they just WIN.

This is a real Brazilian dance! How hilarious/awesome is it? It’s called surra de bunda. After seeing this, I just throw my hands up and say, Brazilian women win.

Agree?

Anyway, <3 You guys. Been working my ass off at the WSOP. It’s been good, just really busy. Also, do any of you believe in The Secret or the Law of Attraction? I kind of do. I’m testing it out. I’ll let you know if the short term visions work out because I’m trying to attract myself a Macbook pro. My PC blows balls. Oh yeah! Playing the ladies event on the 11th! Should be fun

PEACE

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