(I’m skipping the whole, “It’s been awhile” speech since I do it every time)
I’m sitting on a twin bed in a tiny hotel room smack dab in the middle of Manhatten. I should be clear though, there was enough space to do Insanity and for me to roll over once in the bed, so I’m perfectly happy with these accommodations. What I am complaining about is that I should be in Brazil right now!
For those of you who don’t know, I’ve been on a crazy adventure in NYC trying to get a visa. By crazy, I don’t mean like, “off-the-meds,” I mean that the sequence of events which led to me coming here in the first place, followed by the butterfly effect of a delayed flight, which led to more unrelated but compounding setbacks came together in such a way that I just nearly missed getting my Visa yesterday which would have put me on a flight to Brazil to cover the LAPT. BREATHE.
Of course you might be asking yourself, “Why are you like totally psyched and in a hurry to get to work?” Well obviously because my job is the shit, word on the street (sorry for the lame cliche) is that Brazil is awesome, and also, so is Lynn Gilmartin. She’s quickly become one of the best friends I’ve ever had and is even going to be in my wedding. When we saw that our flights were getting in super early the day before we were scheduled to work, we were ecstatic. It’s also nice to spend time in these exotic locations beforehand because once the tournament starts, it’s wake-up-go-to-work-sleep time.
The other question you might be asking is, “WTF happened?” Welp, I’m over it, and I don’t wanna effing talk about. I will say that I did have a minor (who am I kidding? MAJOR) breakdown yesterday. I’ve written before about how anxiety sometimes grips me… well yesterday, it was a fricking Chuck Liddell rear-naked choke hold. (On a random side note, that MMA move sounds like a S&M flavored sex position.) I had taken the red eye the night before, so I was on no sleep. I hadn’t eaten anything. I spent all day running back and forth down the streets of NYC with my luggage and backpack. AT&T blows balls so hard here in the city that my phone didn’t work in any buildings so I had to run in and out and up and down when I needed to talk to someone about my Situation (capital S in respect for Jersey Shore). And, to boot, I was wearing a bright white zip up. Apparhently I didn’t get the memo that EVERYONE IN NEW YORK CITY WEARS BLACK in the winter. SHEEEESH. So, when they told me I wasn’t going to make the flight, I burst into tears and started hyperventilating. I went outside and wedged myself in to a polished stone corner in the front of a skyscraper and made a couple phone calls. The first was to Sarah Grant (uuhhhhughhh O face… I’ll explain later) who I’m convinced can take on any crisis and calmly fix it. Then I called Andrew and balled my face off.
For the record, I’m not a crier. Kicked in the face? Boom, NBD. Keep playing. But in this case, I did, so what? It’s my party.
After settling into this hotel room, I took a quick nap and decided to go explore. I Yelped a nearby sushi place, and it was literally the best sushi I’d ever had. Everyone in the restaurant seemed to be staring at me though. Ohhh, right. It’s Valentine’s Day. I look like someone who 1) just got dumped or 2) chronically dateless. Perhaps that’s why they sat me RIGHT NEXT to the only other person at the Sushi bar. Umm hello?? Don’t they know the rules about sitting at least one chair away from someone if seats are available? Ugh fine. I sat down and ordered a meal that included six pieces of sushi, a spicy tuna roll, and a yellowtail with scallions roll. Oh, my effing-A was it good. It came with ice cream too. Being the fearless (yeah right) girl I am, I tried the black sesame flavor. YUM. At the end of dinner, I actually talked to the guy sitting next to me for a minute. He was in his forties, married, and on business from England. I found out that he dabbles in 10 cent poker games on Betfair. AWESOME.
I decided to explore a little, though cheesy as it sounds, I didn’t feel like seeing much of NYC without Andrew or anyone else. I went down to Times Square, marveled at the lights and gimmicks, bought a loud-touristy hoodie that basically screams, “MUG ME NOW!” and headed back to the hotel room. I find this city extremely motivating.
This morning, I woke up early, did insanity, and headed to the consulate again. I told the person at the cage my story and begged. He stopped me midsentence, wrote on a piece of paper which he then slid under the glass, and said, “Come back at 3:30 to pick up your passport.” THANK YOU!!! So, barring any catastrophe, I should have my Visa so that I can make my flight at 7:50 tonight. Fingers crossed!!!
It’s about time for me to check out, so I’m going to stop here. There are so many things I want to write about, and I PINKY promise to do it soon. Whoa, yeah, just pulled out the pinky promise. I don’t break those.
<3 You guys,
OHhhhh and I said I would explain that thing I said about Sarah. First, she’s hilarious. She’s always making me laugh. Anyway, for some reason we just started doing this horrible pelvic thrusting gesture with the most disgusting face and making a sexual sound… basically, straight from Chazz in the wedding crashers. You know you love it!